How To Deal With Toxic Jealousy
A lot of people say they never get jealous but the reality is that it happens to even the best of us. It can either push you to get better or become toxic making you feel insignificant through moments that may involve constantly comparing yourself to people who appear to be doing amazing. Here's a story of how I escaped that toxic feeling and hopefully you can too.
It was a new school year as a college graduate student I found my brother in the room and one of our roommates was getting settled in too. As I was unpacking, I couldn't help but feel a sense of jealousy. My friend was a Youtuber and was even gaining a rising popularity on Instagram. I was jealous. Every time I would see a new video recorded or a new Instagram post coming out on my social media feeds I would immediately feel jealous and blame myself for not being good enough even to the point of overworking myself. At this point, I was in a toxic state of jealousy which was no longer benefiting me. I had tried meditation and even walking away, but I just couldn't find the solution. I tried going cold turkey from all my social media which I did not enjoy. Later, I sat down with my brother and told him about these worries and feelings of jealousy.
To my surprise, my brother had not been jealous at all. He is happy for my friend gaining popularity. I explained to him that I tried that too but it just seemed so difficult because I would always be constantly reminded of my friend doing amazing since we live together. Luckily, my brother realized I had stopped focusing on my strengths and had mainly been focusing on the strengths of others. He retorted my comment stating, I could also start a Youtube channel or do blog posts too whether people like them or not doesn't matter the fact is if I was focusing on my strengths and found happiness in it while I worked on it then everything else would be fine. I realized this was true I was focusing on the strengths of others instead of fostering and growing the strengths I currently possess. You know what they say about the "jack of all traits master of none." As one Bible story accounts, if we don't grow the talents we possess and let that multiply then we will not receive our rewards and happiness when the judgement time comes or in this case as time goes on. We cannot live in fear of growing ourselves and watering our own garden. If you keep focusing on what other people are growing in their garden, you won't be able to grow the ones in your own or worse forget to harvest the fruits of your labor.
Whether you're growing a habit or learning a new skill focus on one at a time and focus on the strength that would bring the most satisfaction to you if you foster and grow it. For me currently, I am trying to grow a skill of optimal studying so I can do good in graduate school, which is challenging as it is to the point where I shouldn't even worry about other people's gardens because, similar to college, the field is so diversified with people from many different walks of life. With the Lunar New Year just beginning, why not grow the talents you currently possess even if you are as strong as a tiger or as tiny and clever as a rat focus on those little unique talents you possess because that is the lottery you've won in this life and you will find the most success through it. A focus on your strengths can even remove any chances of your jealousy reaching toxic levels. Surprisingly, my Youtube popular friend would never tell me this but once I started focusing on my own strengths I found that my friend started showing signs of jealousy towards me. It's amazing how much people start to look at other people when they are satisfied or happy living their own life. People worry about getting off social media all the time but it's only because they forget about what makes them special and only focus on the beauty and strengths of others. If you have a true understanding of your own strengths and weaknesses you will never have to fear the judgement of others or even require any need to be jealous of anyone. I hope you find something helpful here.
Please also subscribe to my blog posts I try to post weekly insights each week.
It was a new school year as a college graduate student I found my brother in the room and one of our roommates was getting settled in too. As I was unpacking, I couldn't help but feel a sense of jealousy. My friend was a Youtuber and was even gaining a rising popularity on Instagram. I was jealous. Every time I would see a new video recorded or a new Instagram post coming out on my social media feeds I would immediately feel jealous and blame myself for not being good enough even to the point of overworking myself. At this point, I was in a toxic state of jealousy which was no longer benefiting me. I had tried meditation and even walking away, but I just couldn't find the solution. I tried going cold turkey from all my social media which I did not enjoy. Later, I sat down with my brother and told him about these worries and feelings of jealousy.
To my surprise, my brother had not been jealous at all. He is happy for my friend gaining popularity. I explained to him that I tried that too but it just seemed so difficult because I would always be constantly reminded of my friend doing amazing since we live together. Luckily, my brother realized I had stopped focusing on my strengths and had mainly been focusing on the strengths of others. He retorted my comment stating, I could also start a Youtube channel or do blog posts too whether people like them or not doesn't matter the fact is if I was focusing on my strengths and found happiness in it while I worked on it then everything else would be fine. I realized this was true I was focusing on the strengths of others instead of fostering and growing the strengths I currently possess. You know what they say about the "jack of all traits master of none." As one Bible story accounts, if we don't grow the talents we possess and let that multiply then we will not receive our rewards and happiness when the judgement time comes or in this case as time goes on. We cannot live in fear of growing ourselves and watering our own garden. If you keep focusing on what other people are growing in their garden, you won't be able to grow the ones in your own or worse forget to harvest the fruits of your labor.
Whether you're growing a habit or learning a new skill focus on one at a time and focus on the strength that would bring the most satisfaction to you if you foster and grow it. For me currently, I am trying to grow a skill of optimal studying so I can do good in graduate school, which is challenging as it is to the point where I shouldn't even worry about other people's gardens because, similar to college, the field is so diversified with people from many different walks of life. With the Lunar New Year just beginning, why not grow the talents you currently possess even if you are as strong as a tiger or as tiny and clever as a rat focus on those little unique talents you possess because that is the lottery you've won in this life and you will find the most success through it. A focus on your strengths can even remove any chances of your jealousy reaching toxic levels. Surprisingly, my Youtube popular friend would never tell me this but once I started focusing on my own strengths I found that my friend started showing signs of jealousy towards me. It's amazing how much people start to look at other people when they are satisfied or happy living their own life. People worry about getting off social media all the time but it's only because they forget about what makes them special and only focus on the beauty and strengths of others. If you have a true understanding of your own strengths and weaknesses you will never have to fear the judgement of others or even require any need to be jealous of anyone. I hope you find something helpful here.
Please also subscribe to my blog posts I try to post weekly insights each week.
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